Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
