I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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