1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
