So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We just shotgunned beers for America
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
