i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
