we have officially lost it.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
