More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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