you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
