How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Panties = found
Randomize