We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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