im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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