I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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