the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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