It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
