My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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