Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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