I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
