so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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