Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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