# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
