Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
