Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
