She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
