hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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