remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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