This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We got so high we made milksteak
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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