There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
