Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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