Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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