So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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