Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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