is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize