Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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