the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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