Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My pussy is not your playground.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
