the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
