Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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