everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
