I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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