Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
