i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
