Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize