I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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