$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize