He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
did i walk over a car last night?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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