no you cant smoke seaweed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
