he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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