guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
