Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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