i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
