I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
