Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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