One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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