Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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