If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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