I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
